It's been a long time since I've posted on this blog. Personally I've been dealing with a lot from not working to being hospitalized on a psych unit for attempted suicide. I've had a lot of mental health problems I've been dealing with. But as always I'm resilient which I'm not sure if that just comes from my upbringing or my deep southern ancestry pushing me forward. All I know that I learned this experience is part of my recovery is not just taking the medication and doing therapy it's also having a routine, doing yoga, practicing mindfulness in stressful situations. It's imperative for me to practice daily self care rituals like doing a puzzle, reading, or writing. It's not a privileged thing that I can't make time for I must make time for it because time and time again whenever I let these things slip little by little I will start to get worse mentally. Just like people have to check their insulin levels I have to check my mood swings and keep them balanced by making sure I'm taking care of my mental health. During my hospital stay it was expressed how rare it was from someone with my illness to be able to so coherent as I am and be able to be so aware of my illness. To some people they would be flattered by that insinuation but I was just a little offended and sad. I was offended because so many confuse mental illness with a lack of intelligence. I mean yeah it's harder to be more coherent but it doesn't mean that just because I'm schizophrenic that I forget all common sense and it made me sad because I realize the system is meant to keep people who have faced countless traumas that induced their illness to feel like they will never amount to anything close to the American Dream that we were sold on as children. That the best they can do is just to have a roof over their head and food in their bellies. Those are things to be grateful for but being diagnosed with a mental illness is not a death sentence. As humans each and everyone of us are capable of achieving our dream goals and living our ideal life regardless of our disabilities. I mean yeah we can complain that we have to work three times as hard as Joe Shmo but you know what that's not gonna get us closer to where we want to be. Life is sometimes unfair but everyone in life has their obstacles in life and it's not our disabilities that will prevent us from living a fulfilling life it's our state of mind and willingness to put the work into getting what we want to be that will determine if we fulfill our potential.
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